I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
