who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
