why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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