you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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