ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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