I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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