I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
