KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
