You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
not ubering you a puppy
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
