Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
