I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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