Buhtt sex?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
