so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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