he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
