i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
