He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
