You can't motorboat a personality
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
