you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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