I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
