The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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