It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Green mimosas i think yes
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
