I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
