I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
