and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
