The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize