my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
