Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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