Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
