She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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