I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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