Kiss
Puke
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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