so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
