Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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