my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
