I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
