I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
