My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
