why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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