i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
