I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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