She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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