I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
