that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
