its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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