O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
