i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Randomize
