I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
