Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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