And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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