If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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