I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
