i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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