I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
