did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
