Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
there was a trapeze. enough said
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
